Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Day 4 What really stresses you out?

Day 4 Today’s Nudge: What really stresses you out, and how to do take care of yourself when you’re in the midst of *waves at all that*.

It seems now days the most stressful thing for me is my health issues and what all has gone one in the past 6 years.  It cost me my job, my identity and my health.  If you read back through this blog you will see it has been a journey and it seems just as I am getting on top of it all something comes along and knocks the slats out from under me and I have to start again.

I am a tenacious critter to say the least.  I have to accredit my Mother, Aunt, and Grandmother for making me the strong woman I am.  I was brought up poorer then most but  back then I didn't think I was much different then any of my friends or actually anyone else.  I couldn't do a lot as a child cause we just didn't have money for music lessons, sport uniforms etc.  I started working as a baby sitter when I was about 12 years old to make money to buy things I wanted and the family couldn't afford.  My mother worked and when to school when I was 11-12 years old and it was expected I would help around there house.  There was no 'extra' money to speak of ever.  

I married the first time thinking I would have a bigger and better life then my mother and family but turns out I jumped out of the skillet into the fire and it was so much worse being married to an abusive asshole like I was so after two weeks (yes only 2 wk) I jumped ship!  Lee was a physically abusive person and liked to use me as a punching bag.  He didn't like being married and tied down so bringing another woman into our bed while I was at work was just a okay by him.

I married again 5 years later to an awesome man and have been happy.  We have 2 kids and they are both married with good partners!  My son and his wife have 3 children and my daughter has yet to start her family but has 3 dogs that think Grandmadog is the best!  

I have PTSD, Depression and a lot of ups and downs to take care of myself and get through all the crap I have started going to a talk therapist each week.  I was really reluctant to do so but now don't see how I ever made it through some of my most trying times recently without her!  I talk with her and see helps me see the problem and issues through totally different eyes.   I tried medications for a while and medications just seem to exacerbate the problem for me so I am happy doing it without drugs.

I love crafting and try to spend time doing something each day but since my surgery I am having trouble doing anything at all.  I just lack any creativity or motivation.  I was hypoxic and I have some memory and ability issues right now that the doctor has told me will come back in time.  I hope so and I am hoping blogging will help.   

Have a great day...

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