Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Day 4 What really stresses you out?
It seems now days the most stressful thing for me is my health issues and what all has gone one in the past 6 years. It cost me my job, my identity and my health. If you read back through this blog you will see it has been a journey and it seems just as I am getting on top of it all something comes along and knocks the slats out from under me and I have to start again.
I am a tenacious critter to say the least. I have to accredit my Mother, Aunt, and Grandmother for making me the strong woman I am. I was brought up poorer then most but back then I didn't think I was much different then any of my friends or actually anyone else. I couldn't do a lot as a child cause we just didn't have money for music lessons, sport uniforms etc. I started working as a baby sitter when I was about 12 years old to make money to buy things I wanted and the family couldn't afford. My mother worked and when to school when I was 11-12 years old and it was expected I would help around there house. There was no 'extra' money to speak of ever.
I married the first time thinking I would have a bigger and better life then my mother and family but turns out I jumped out of the skillet into the fire and it was so much worse being married to an abusive asshole like I was so after two weeks (yes only 2 wk) I jumped ship! Lee was a physically abusive person and liked to use me as a punching bag. He didn't like being married and tied down so bringing another woman into our bed while I was at work was just a okay by him.
I married again 5 years later to an awesome man and have been happy. We have 2 kids and they are both married with good partners! My son and his wife have 3 children and my daughter has yet to start her family but has 3 dogs that think Grandmadog is the best!
I have PTSD, Depression and a lot of ups and downs to take care of myself and get through all the crap I have started going to a talk therapist each week. I was really reluctant to do so but now don't see how I ever made it through some of my most trying times recently without her! I talk with her and see helps me see the problem and issues through totally different eyes. I tried medications for a while and medications just seem to exacerbate the problem for me so I am happy doing it without drugs.
I love crafting and try to spend time doing something each day but since my surgery I am having trouble doing anything at all. I just lack any creativity or motivation. I was hypoxic and I have some memory and ability issues right now that the doctor has told me will come back in time. I hope so and I am hoping blogging will help.
Have a great day...