Sunday, December 18, 2011


Well last year I was so depressed that I played Scrooge and didn't do any decorating or buy a single Christmas gift. I didn't have money because of no job or money coming in and I just didn't feel like getting out and fighting the crowds.

This year I am still broke but I have made some psychological changes in my life. I still hurt all the time but I am learning to manage it. Yesterday I over did it quite a bit because I worked diligently most of the day putting lights on a bush in the front yard and putting out the air Snowman and tree in the front yard. I also spray painted 3 graduating sized grapevine wreathes to make Snowman hanging for the front door. I think it will be cute when I get it done...and relatively inexpensive. I used to be able to do so much more then spending a day on so little but I was happy with what I accomplished yesterday. It is all in the perspective isn't it!

I also am giving some Christmas gifts this year but they are gifts that I made with my own two hands. The grand babies are getting store bought toys but my children and their spouses will be getting a home made gift and a little check because I STILL can't handle shopping or being out in crowds. I become very agitated and my body starts to ache and hurt all over then I get headaches and my muscles stiffen up and I am done for the day...Not worth it for me. If anyone has a complaint then I guess next year I will go back to nothing for Christmas except a lump of coal that I can order online!

I love the holidays...always have. I love the memories of my childhood, the memories of what we did with our children. I hear from my children now that it wasn't the toys and gifts that they remember now but the times we made cookies and sang Christmas songs and did things as a family.

I am not stressing about Christmas cause I want to enjoy the holiday and conserving myself is the way to make it happen. I am glad in someways that this disorder has forced me to review my priorities and make what is really important the most important thing in the holiday...My family!

Hope everyone reading this post has a very Happy Holiday and/or a very Merry Christmas!

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