Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Darn it! I over did it again!!

Seems to be a song I am singing the past couple months.  I got to feeling good and then over did it now I am on that roller coaster ride back to stability!  I seem to forget that I have multiple disorders that will knock me flat on my butt and leave me beat and bleeding in the dust as they roll on giggling a merry tune!  I forget that I have to temper what I am doing with rest and recovery in order to go on to the next project instead I jump in both feet and hands and when I finally come up for air I am way too far in to be able to recover easily. 

I think it all started back in August when I felt really good and didn't realize I was really stressed with having to have some more tests done and my reaction was to do more to try and forget the stress.  I over ate, over played, over worked and just plain over did!  I signed up for A LOT of challenges on the various art blogs I belong to thinking since I felt good and all I might as well take on a few more. 

Does anyone get headaches and increased achiness just before the man comes to collect the toll?  I had several days of headaches that I laid off to just being allergies and took some sinus medication to alleviate that symptom's... but it didn't work.   To add insult to injury the medication made me want to sleep more so the more I was in bed the more I began to hurt!!!!  Grrrrr....get where I am going?  I am my own worse friend!

I have a BSN...whats that?  A Bachelor's of Science degree in Nursing.  I decided a long time a go to become a nurse then started setting myself up to be a super nurse.  I have about 160 hours total college course work....doesn't mean I am smarter then anyone just that I persevere a lot longer then some people do.  I was a highly educated and skilled nurse in Critical Care, ER, and ICU.  I could do an open heart or neuro recovery almost in my sleep.  I knew how to get things done so I became a night shift house supervisor covering a 314 bed hospital.  I was good, not bragging, and people told me about it.  When I got sick with these disorders I became a basket case. I knew a lot of stuff but I didn't know anything about what I was up against in my own body. 

I know WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS FOR?  Well it is to show you that I get on the Internet and I start searching cause I know I can find anything and everything I need to know out there on the web.  I didn't need a doctor (or all the damn specialists that own me now) to tell me what was the matter with me.   My doctor tried to send his office nurse in to tell me about my diagnosis before he would come in the room.  I heard him try to give her $100 to give me the diagnosis of FIBROMYALGIA and when she came in the room I was all ready to give her the what for because she had succumbed to the narky doc....but she never once mentioned the disorder (except to say her sister had some weird disorder) and I didn't either.  When my doctor came in to talk to me and he prefaced the conversation with ....I know you aren't going to like this but... I  figured I really wasn't going to like it at all.  Here is my latest lists of disorders:

I have some kind of Auto Immune but they can't figure out what!  Yet!  Doesn't that kill ya!
Chronic Fatigue
Fibromyalgia, Fibrofog
Orthostatic hypotension
Neural issues like pain, bugs crawling on me, twitching, and itching.
Restless Leg Syndrome
dry eyes and mouth
difficulty swallowing
Difficulty sleeping and the big D

DEPRESSION... it is caused by the disorders not the disorders being caused by it. 

there's  others but you get the idea.  That just about covered all the signs and symptoms of the complaints that I had printed out in a list for him. BUT was it what I really had going on.  I have learned the past two years that I treat symptoms and not worry about the disorders anymore.  They won't go away and the best I can do it just work with them and my body to live comfortably.  Doesn't mean I am not in hopes that there will be a cure found just means I am learning to cope with that I have been given.

What do I take with all this going on...as little as I can get by with putting in my mouth.  I have started taking a really good multiple vitamin every day.  It seems to help as much as any other drug in my repertoire but here is the list:

Hydrocodone as needed

That's a short list.  I know some people that take a ton more drugs then I do but I refuse to take anymore.  It is kind of like if you give me something new what will you be taking me off???
All doctors have a different treatment regime and people have different reactions to the medications they are prescribed so don't take my list in and get the same drugs cause you know they will help you!  This is the Internet and everyone has a different treatment for essentially same disorders!

I didn't mean to take off on this tangent when I started this post it was just to point out that I and You need to listen to our bodies and heed the warning signs of overdoing.  A headache, increased muscle aches and pains, bugs crawling all over me, inability to sleep well, stressing over everything is a sign that something isn't going well in this body of mine.   I need to take more time and learn to listen better to keep my world in balance.

Get on line and float through some of the Fibro and CFS/ME blogs or the official pages of the various disorders and diseases we are blessed with.  Gain knowledge cause that is what is going to help you better then any of the stuff going on. 

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